Reconciliation
by pluviophilexx
Summary: Spoilers for 3x15. Sometimes you hurt the people around you even when you spend all your energy making sure not to.


**AN: Just had to write this because it wouldn't leave my head and I didn't want it to be ruined by future episodes (like in the instance that Caitlin and Julian break apart). So I'm being stubborn, and I'm using that tiny, minuscule smile Julian gives Caitlin when they realize the one part of the stone is what's keeping Savitar from breaking out of the Speed Force as a sign that they talked before everything fell apart at the end. So, yeah.**

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"Can we talk?"

Caitlin stood by the doorframe, her hands wringing together nervously as she looked almost pleadingly at the back of Julian's head as he sat in a chair, his head in his hands.

"What is there left to say, Caitlin," Julian replied slowly. "I thought I made my points perfectly clear."

"You ended the conversation when you closed those elevator doors," Caitlin voiced forcefully. "You didn't give me a chance to apologize or to explain."

"I think you made your explanations quite clear about not wanting to become Killer Frost."

Caitlin opened her mouth to respond but closed it after a second of deliberation. She didn't want to repeat her reasons for keeping part of the stone. She took a deep breath before entering the room slowly, her eyes closing for just a moment to collect her thoughts.

"I didn't mean an explanation on why I kept part of the stone," Caitlin made her way around Julian's chair, grabbing another chair to place in front of him so she could look directly at him.

She sat there for a moment, looking at him, waiting for him to look up and meet her eyes. When he continued to keep his hands over his face she bit her lower lip, keeping her from blurting something out in this awkward silence.

Finally, after a couple minutes but what felt like hours to Caitlin, she couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Julian," she said quietly, her voice wavering. "Please."

"Please what, Dr. Snow," Julian finally looked up at her, his voice tight with tension.

Caitlin felt a sharp pang in her chest at not only his formal address of her name but at the look of betrayal in his eyes as he stared directly at her.

"I didn't only invite you to the team just to use you," Caitlin started hesitantly. "I'd be lying if I wasn't thinking about the possibility of you… being an integral part of curing me—" Julian scoffed and Caitlin stopped talking to sigh.

"Julian," Caitlin started again. "Getting to know you… it's been enlightening and wonderful and it had absolutely nothing to do with Killer Frost."

Julian didn't reply, staring down at the ground again.

"I genuinely enjoy spending time with you, "Caitlin continued, her voice becoming stronger. "You seemed stand-offish at first, very distant but getting to know you… you're actually quite charming, funny, and you know, you're more compassionate than you let on."

"You know," Julian spoke, his voice low. "I don't tend to let people into my life very easily. Not only that, you can understand my aversion to being used. Seeing you with the stone, the way you disregarded how that stone affects me…"

"I'm so sorry," Caitlin looked down at her hands. "I am always so worried about Killer Frost taking over, hurting the people I love and care about…" She looked up, her vision blurred by tears. "I didn't even think to consider the fact that I may not need Killer Frost to hurt the people around me."

Caitlin snapped her eyes to the floor, her head low as she brought up a hand to swiftly wipe away her tears. She heard the harsh sound of a chair scraping across the floor and she looked up in time to see Julian bring up a hand to move her own as he wiped away her flowing tears with his thumb as he held her cheek.

He didn't say anything, just softly brushed his thumb back and forth on her cheek.

"Julian," Caitlin said softly, trying to calm her emotions. "I swear, I really do like you."

"Right," Julian tried to smile, but ended up with more of a grimace on his face.

"Not only for the reasons I just listed," Caitlin placed her hand over his on her cheek. "You also remind me of what it is like to be strong. You were the one to remind me of who I am and what I am capable of as Caitlin Snow. You believe in me and you put your trust in me."

"It's because you're a genuinely good person," Julian replied softly, a small smile taking over his face. "You also believed in the good in me, too, you know."

Caitlin smiled, squeezing his hand.

"I really am sorry, Julian, for keeping this from you and for making you feel used," Caitlin looked deep into his blue eyes. "I need you to know that you're important to me not because of my… condition… but because I consider you to be a very close friend who I care a lot about."

"I'll forgive you, Dr. Snow," Julian replied, a mocking smile on his face. "If you let me kiss you again."

Caitlin smiled, rolling her eyes in mock exasperation. "Well, if that's what it takes…"

Julian chuckled softly before leaning in, sliding his hands past her cheek to the back of her head, bringing her in closer. She smiled, her eyes fluttering shut as he closed the gap, placing his lips softly over hers. She leaned closer into him, responding in a way she couldn't earlier, as she was caught off guard by his kiss.

Julian smiled against her lips before pulling back, not wanting to get carried away by the stirrings in his chest at her enthusiastic response. She looked at him quizzically, an eyebrow raised, her lips slightly parted.

"You're forgiven," he smirked. "But I believe it might take more to _completely_ erase my anger."

"Julian," Caitlin laughed. "Let's get back to the others."

"Alright, fine," Julian sighed dramatically. "We'll save this discussion for later, then?"

"We'll see," Caitlin smiled at him, amused. "I'll see if I can make the time. I'm a busy woman, you know."

"I can be patient."

"Then we'll see about making it worth the wait."

"Be careful," Julian smiled, offering her a hand as he stood up. "You don't want to go and get my hopes up just to dash them."

"It's not really the thing I'm hoping to get up," Caitlin muttered under her breath.

Julian's eyebrows shot up. "Dr. Caitlin Snow!"

Caitlin laughed, blushing, before rushing out of the room leaving behind a dazed and bewildered Julian. After a few seconds of standing there, he shook his head and started to slowly move out of the room, a slow smile appearing on his face.

Things were starting to pick up and he couldn't wait.


End file.
